


The Sticker Scheme

by wise_king_solomon



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28770321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wise_king_solomon/pseuds/wise_king_solomon
Summary: Satan has been requested to the kitchen by his older brother Mammon. No doubt for one of his schemes. Reluctant to involve himself, he can't help but satiate his own curiosity. Besides, Mammon says it can hurt Lucifer...Imagined prequel/set-up to the "SNS Ban" Chat in the Demon Brothers group chat.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	The Sticker Scheme

## - **SATAN** -

The House of Lamentation stood unusually quiet for once in its long history. Nothing but the sound of Satan’s footsteps down the dim, red hallway echoed within earshot. Lucifer was out on some errand for his master, Diavolo, and this would normally have presented countless opportunities for his brothers to cause some form of chaos. Yet the House of Lamentation remained unusually quiet. _Surely this quiet won’t last long_ , Satan thought to himself as he made his way to the kitchen where he had been requested. Requested or begged, Satan couldn’t quite decide the tone of Mammon’s message when he first refused. And the second time. And the third. He relented in the end when Mammon suggested he had a way to hurt Lucifer’s pride.

He continued his way from the solitude of the library down a dull red hallway, the colour faded from many years of dim light and foot tread, to his destination. There, making his way from the other end of the hallway came a tall figure with blazing orange hair and a puppy dog smile on his face.

“Ah, Beel! I didn’t think it would be time for second helpings of dinner” Satan jested, stopping outside the door that led to the kitchen.

“It’s never too early,” Beel responded with a grin. “But Mammon texted me saying Levi left a devilberry cheesecake in the fridge. That’s my first target.”

“Mammon huh...” Satan said more to himself than Beel, reminded of his own message from Mammon. 

“You’re not after it too, are you? The cheesecake?” Beel’s grin began to fade.

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s all yours Beel. But I’m afraid that we’re walking into a trap. Mammon messaged me too. I swear if it’s a pyramid scheme or one of his scams I’ll...”

“Hey! Why so little faith in your older brother, Satan?” Came a voice from behind. Before he managed to turn around Mammon had jumped on his back and began ruffling his younger brother’s golden hair. Satan callously pushed his brother off, and Mammon fell to the ground all the while still laughing. “Ouch!”

“What do you want Mammon?” Snarled Satan as Beel helped Mammon up. “Why all the secrecy?”

“Hey not so loud alright! Come in to the kitchen, the others are in there waiting. Don’t worry, it’s worth it bro,” He said through a grin.

Satan massaged his temple and let out a sigh. His curiosity was getting the better of him. Again. The humans had a saying he found in some book long ago, he found it rather fitting given his fondness for cats. ‘Curiosity killed the cat.’ _And it’ll kill you one day too_ , Satan reminded himself. But how could he resist? Mammon was offering a way to ruin Lucifer, another of Satan’s vices. _It couldn’t hurt to hear. Mammon does have his moments of cunning._

“I hope you remember you’re dealing with the Avatar of Wrath, Mammon.”

\---*---

He followed after Beel into the kitchen. Mammon had already propped himself onto the kitchen counter, and Beel made for the fridge. Levi was sat at the table talking rapidly about some DPOP musician to a demon who wore circular glasses and seemed more interested in studying the table’s wood grain than Levi’s rambling and anything else in the room.

“Mephistopheles,” Satan interrupted surprised at the demon’s presence. Their guest jumped to attention at Satan’s greeting. “Don’t tell me our brother has dragged you along to participate in his schemes too.”

“Ah Satan, it’s nice to see you,” he said meekly.

“Mammon grabbed us from the Newspaper Club, said something about getting big numbers on Devilgram if we helped him” Levi answered.

This was becoming more of a hassle for Satan, and a headache was starting to form in the same place it always forms when Mammon has one of his ideas. _What is he up to?_ He fell into a chair across from them and began to pour himself a cup of tea from the pot that lay still warm. Beel joined them at the table, arms filled with a variety of foods, with his main prize, the cheesecake, on top. Levi tried to protest but it seems Beel loses his hearing when he starts eating. That, or he’s ignoring having to share any.

“I- I should probably get going...” Mephisto started, rising out of his chair. No doubt having planned his escape; what to say, and what to do while feigning interest in the table grain.

“Hold on! I haven’t told why I called you here Mephisto and you’re - huh? Oh right, _Mephistopheles_ \- you’re our ace card!” Mammon said leaping from the counter, hugging Mephisto and sitting him back in his seat. He sighed accepting his defeat, and Satan poured him a cup of tea as condolences for his pitiful attempt at escape. He held on to the cup with both hands, supping from it while going back to reading the table grain.

Satan leaned back and closed his eyes in order to collect his thoughts. It seemed Mammon’s scheme was grander than he first gave his brother credit for. 

\---*---

“MAMMON!” The voice burst into the room, disturbing Satan’s thoughts. “I’m going to kill you if you sold my perfumes! I know it was you who took them!”

There in the doorway stood Asmodeus, the hallway’s sconces letting his immaculate skin radiate a slight glow. Even with that dark expression, he was beautiful.

“Hey, Asmo - whoa hey! Hold on a second, wait-” Asmo was already halfway across the kitchen as Mammon started pleading and goose-stepping around the table. Poor Mephisto turned into an impromptu shield between him and Asmo. “Come on listen to your big brother.”

“Brother!” scoffed Asmo continuing his march towards Mammon, ignoring Mephisto the shield, “You’re more like an urchin or street rat to steal from your brother!”

Mammon tried circling but slipped on the discarded cheesecake tray which sent him flying on to his back and looking up at a rather smug Asmodeus pressing the heel of their foot into his chest.

“Ah- Alright, alright, just get off me, I didn’t sell them! I needed you to come to the kitchen, okay!?”

“Oh if that all you wanted,” Asmo’s expression lightened into a smile as he dug his heel further in and used the floored Mammon as a step. “Fine, if it means I’ll get my perfumes back, I’ll listen,” he sighed as he fell into the chair beside Satan, already with a look of boredom upon his face.

\--- * ---

“Why are we here Mammon? You told me you had a way to ruin Lucifer” demanded Satan.

“Lucifer!” Mephisto’s eyes grew almost to the size of his circular glasses upon hearing the name.

“Relax Mephisto. Lucifer isn’t going to find out it was us” Mammon placed a hand on his shoulder and laughed reassuringly. It didn’t seem to help, the demon was in a cold sweat just at the thought of crossing Lucifer.

“Lucifer always _knows_ it’s us” Levi chimed in.

“Because it always _is_ us” sighed Asmo.

“But this time he won’t know it's us” declared Mammon, oblivious to the eye roll Satan and Asmo gave one another. “Well, don’t you want to know what it is? How we can ruin Lucifer and I get filthy rich?”

“Wait, why are you getting rich if we have to do the work too?” Said Levi furrowing his brow

“Think about it, Levi! If I’m rich I won’t have to ask you for money ever again!” Mammon declared to the room with a grin that acknowledged his genius. The brothers at the table gave one another a look that said he’ll be asking them again, and too soon.

“And what is this get-rich-quick scheme of yours this time?”

“Stickers”

The room paused for thought, even Beel broke from his gluttonous daze to see why the brothers sat in silence. “Oh, hi Mephisto, want some?”

\--- * ---

“Stickers?” Satan repeated, holding back a mocking laugh.

“Yeah! Those stickers you send in texts and stuff. Think about it we make some of Diavolo and Lucifer and they’ll sell like crazy. I wanted you all in on it too because you’re my brothers and I love you guys.”

“Not buying that last part.” The seated brothers nodded in agreement

“Fine. I need help with the computer stuff,” He sighed deeply. “And the designing stuff. And the drawing stuff too.”

Satan put his head into his hand, it seemed the others too were questioning how this was a sound way to ruin Lucifer. _He is the Avatar of Pride, and this would surely wound it_. But stickers? He supposed if they became popular on Devilgram it might hurt Lucifer’s pride, but would others actually use them? It was certainly a risk worth taking. Besides it’s Mammon’s idea anyway, he’ll be the only one to get in trouble at least.

“We’ll help. What else are brothers for?” Satan sighed.

\--- * ---

The brother’s had all seated themselves around the kitchen table, the meeting had begun. The unusual quiet had returned as each brother was stewing in thought, coming up with ideas for stickers that could surely wound Lucifer’s pride. 

Asmo jolted up from thought, “what about a damsel in distress and her dashing knight? Lucifer is always coming to Diavolo’s aid like that” he chuckled. Mammon, Satan, and Levi joined in.

“Asmo, that’s brilliant.” Satan threw his head back in laughter at the idea he painted of Diavolo atop a tower and Lucifer being eaten by the dragon guarding it. “I do happen to know an artist who can draw the stickers too.”

“Great! Diavolo can be the damsel, and Lucifer can...” Mammon drifted off “Lucifer can come in on a unicorn to save him!”

“I’ll design the dress!” Asmo had decided.

“I’ll post them online so the normies think it’s cool!” Levi declared.

Mephisto was the only one silent (Beel was chewing away loudly again). Satan noticed that Mephisto’s face had become a pale white with a look of fear painted upon it. The poor demon was gripping the edges of his seat so tight as if he would float away otherwise. Mammon had seemed to notice too, as he snaked his way towards him.

“Mephisto! Buddy! Come on, we can’t do this without ya! None of us knows how to put them on the DDD. I promise Lucifer won’t find out!”

“But what if he does?”

“He won’t! No one here is dumb enough to use them when talking to him, and Diavolo won’t find out because only Lucifer texts him! See? Nothing to worry about, the _Great_ Mammon has thought this through!” He said with the confidence only a crook like him possesses.

“I- I don’t know.”

“Aww come on Mephisto” Asmo leaned in, a playful smile and a dazzling glean in his eyes “Won’t you do it for me?”

His hold on the chair began to wane the more he stared at Asmo’s beauty, and a pink blush grew on his otherwise pale face. Satan was careful not to look into Asmo’s stare but had glimpsed not one twinkle of hypnosis in his eyes, Asmo didn’t need to use his powers on him it seemed. _Mephisto really was a poor excuse for a demon._

“Sure, I can get them on the store for you Asm-for you guys” the pathetic demon managed to stutter out.

“That’s our buddy!” Mammon pounced on his prey again giving him a rough pat on the head as Asmo rewarded the demon with a warm smile and blowing a kiss that made its target blush all the more. “Come on then! Get to work!”

\--- * ---

Satan breathed in the smell of old paper and dust as he returned to his sanctuary, the library, with his brothers Asmodeus and Mammon following behind. They cleared a desk that sat by the large window overlooking the courtyard and began laying out papers and drawing supplies.

“So who’s this artist friend of your’s Satan?” Asmo asked.

“Simeon.”

“Huh? The Angel Simeon?” Mammon asked confused.

Satan nodded.

“I messaged him on the way over here. He seemed amused to say the least, and was willing to help. He’ll be coming over as soon as he can” He added, as he made for the kitchen to prepare tea for their guest.

\--- * ---

Minutes passed. Satan returned with a tray of cups and a pot of steaming tea. More minutes passed, and the brothers were growing bored with waiting. Mammon marched back and forth impatient at the delay in his get-rich-quick scheme. A faint creaking from far away made Mammon pause, his foot hovering in the air, ready to pounce on Simeon and get him straight to work. The sound of a door slamming shut, heavy enough that it could only be the entrance door was next. Then the groan of the staircase. Something told them this was not their expected guest. They stared at the library door, hearing the sound of heeled boots marching to intrude on their scheming.

The door to the library groaned open. There in the arch, he stood, radiating that heavy aura that’s as black as his cruelty. Lucifer stood scrutinising his brothers’ stares.

“Hmm? What a surprise to see Mammon in the Library. What are you lot up to?” Lucifer’s gaze swept them one by one.

Mammon looked stupefied at his older brother’s presence. “What are you doing here Lucifer?”

“I asked you first,” he smirked.

“We’re thinking of starting an art club” Satan answered for him; breaking Lucifer’s cold stare on Mammon who was retreating towards the desk.

“An art-venture” Asmo playfully added, chuckling.

Lucifer’s gazed at the three brothers as if he could see straight through them and interrogate their souls. Perhaps he could in a way, he did know his brothers. His focus fixed on Satan for being the one to dare answer. They were locked in a stare. Satan refused to relent. A smile crept over Lucifer’s face unleashing a roaring laugh that shocked the three rigid.

“Mammon too?” He laughed. “I never expected anything more than stick men and the scrawlings of a child from him.”

Mammon’s face broke from terror to one of annoyance. He began to protest his brother’s lowly expectations of him but was interrupted by a knock on the library door. Their attention turned towards the smiling angel Simeon who glided into the room, supplies in one hand and the other in greeting.

“Oh. I didn’t expect Lucifer of all people to be joining us...” Simeon’s hand lowered slightly, pausing at the scene before him.

“No. I’m not joining you for your art club. I’m meeting Diavolo and Barbatos for afternoon tea and came to pick up a book they requested.” And with that, he strode towards the small table that sat by the fireplace, picked up a thick tome worn with age, and paused.

The four of them watched with fear as Lucifer strode across the room to the book and froze. He turned towards their stares. “Are you trying to capture my pose?” He laughed mockingly. “Perhaps another time when I’m not busy,” He added, grinning and promptly left the room. The air suddenly felt lighter and the four exhaled the breath they didn’t realise they were holding in.

They all fell into the chairs exhausted from the exchange but were soon reinvigorated as the mood quickly lightened. They laughed and joked about what the stickers would be, each drawing out their ideas for Simeon to work from. _Lucifer was right. Mammon_ _’_ _s_ _work was stick men and childish scrawlings_. It had been a while since Satan found himself genuinely and wholeheartedly laughing thanks to his brothers. Mammon’s idea had seemed ridiculous at first glance but now the two stickers they decided upon were sketched out in front of him, he couldn’t stop grinning.

Soon after midnight, they waved Simeon goodbye, the Angel eager to get started on making them. The rest returned to the kitchen, continuing to enjoy each other’s company for a change. Laughing and joking, and joining Beel in a midnight meal together. Even Asmo seemed to forget about his perfumes.

_If this does backfire, at least it’s all on Mammon._

## - **DIAVOLO** -

Diavolo slumped at his desk, his chin pillowed on his forearm. The latest slew of paperwork gazing down at him. He sighed and looked out his window at the cool red sky of the Devildom. _I wonder what Lucifer and his brothers are up to_. He sulked into his arms, the paperwork defeating him. The evening was young, and Barbatos would surely be around with a pot of tea soon, but Diavolo closed his eyes letting himself go back to his daydreams.

As he crossed the fine line between daydream and dreaming, his DDD rudely and loudly woke him. _Lucifer!_ He shot up from his slumber with a warm smile as if Lucifer was in the room with him. The smile folded into a puzzled look. It was a message from Simeon. 

_Simeon is always so cryptic_. Following Simeon’s instructions, Diavolo opened the RAD newspaper app, scrolling to the store section for what Simeon called a surprise he knew Diavolo would enjoy. There he was greeted by the trending stickers and let out a ferocious roar of laughter. _Lucifer is going to hate these_. He bought them.

Barbatos arrived, on time as always, with some tea and sweet treats for the Demon Prince. Diavolo almost knocked the tray out of the servant’s hands with how excited he was to show off the stickers. Even Barbatos let out a chuckle at them. He too agreed, with a wry smile, that Lucifer would hate them.

Diavolo sucked up his chest in an attempt to feign a serious composure at the situation. He still wore that big grin of his as he went to message Lucifer. He elected to send just the sticker of himself as the damsel (in a beautifully designed red dress, he noted) and waited. It wasn’t long until his DDD buzzed with Lucifer’s response:

\- Diavolo, I assure you I will get to the bottom of this.

Diavolo laughed, Lucifer was always so serious. _I wish he would relax more, honestly_. He couldn’t resist responding so playfully:

\- I wish you well on your quest, Lucifer.

Not forgetting to add the sticker of Lucifer riding his unicorn.


End file.
